Plan a Party Like a Magician
by Kostya Kimlat
The secret to making a wedding, bar mitzvah, or major party look effortless and magical lies in its preparation. Like a magician, you have to get into the mind of your audience.
For magicians, designing and performing an astonishing and memorable magic trick boils down to the process of influencing their audience’s expectations, perceptions, and memories. You can use the same approach to create an amazing event that your friends and family will long remember.
Understand Expectations
When a magician approaches a group, he must understand what his audience expects. Are they an outgoing group who will be effusively amazed? A skeptical group that needs some winning over? Do they have high expectations that must be met? Or low expectations, ready to be won over?
Our expectations shape what we notice. In this way, planning an event is similar to constructing a magic trick. Do guests expect to be served breakfast? A light dinner? A multi-course feast? Are they expecting to dance the night away or watch a show? Will they know most of the guests or expect to make new friends?
Once you’ve identified their expectations, the second step is to influence them. Magicians influence expectations by manipulating what spectators will be looking to find.
I’ve never attended an event where I wish I knew less in advance. Guests want to know what to wear, if the event is outside, where to park, how hungry they should be, and whether to wear their comfy dancing shoes. They want to know whether to bring their kids, and if there will be babysitting. Your guests also want to care – what makes the guest of honor a special person? Share this information and inspiration in advance via email or mail.
Manage Perceptions
Psychologically, magicians use your expectations to get you to see what they want you to see and only what they want you to see. Your brain is busy. It has to decide what to pay attention to among the overwhelming number of stimuli in our everyday lives. It has to prioritize, de-prioritize, and categorize constantly. The job of a magician is to control what you deem important.
You can use this principle by prioritizing or deprioritizing different aspects of your event. Perhaps you want to make an extra impact in catering versus décor – or vice versa. Or perhaps instead you want to emphasize the guest of honor’s story or contributions to the world. Maybe you want your guests to make friends with your other guests, so that they’re focused less on details, and more on connections.
Great magicians know how to direct your attention and pay attention to what they want; so can a great event planner.
Shape Memories
When people recall a magic show out loud to others, magicians tune in. Why? It’s a valuable opportunity to hear not only what audiences think, but also how they remember. That’s what allows us to make magic even more magical. Often, when I encounter an audience member years later, she’ll remember the words I used more than the trick itself; or she won’t remember the trick at all, but how it made her feel. These memories are not always accurate, or even set in stone.
As you plan a party, you have an incredible power to shape how your guests remember your celebration. You can shape their memories by narrating an experience. For example, if you want your guests to remember the food, décor, entertainment, or venue, you can talk about it while giving a toast. Or you could talk about the specialness of the guest of honor or a funny moment during the ceremony. You can even cement the way you’d like guests to remember your celebration by sending out a group email the next day, thanking guests and highlighting what you’d like to memorialize.
Remember that in the weeks and years to come, how you make your guests feel will be the real, everlasting magic.
Kostya Kimlat is an Orlando magician and motivational speaker who teaches businesses to Think Like A Magician™.