Music to an Addict's Ears

by Emily Raij

A bar for teens that fosters sobriety? It sounds like an oxymoron, but Jerusalem-based youth and family addictions counselor Tracey Shipley knows that it’s possible, and she credits her experience living and working in Central Florida years ago with the life-saving work she does today.

Tracey moved with her family to Orlando from Cleveland at age 15, graduated from Winter Park High School, and earned her degree in creative therapy in New York. In the early ‘90s, she relocated to Israel and worked as an art therapist for several years. When she moved back to Central Florida in the mid-’90s, she saw firsthand the value of creative therapies in dealing with addiction. 

“I wouldn’t be able to do anything I’m doing right now if I didn’t get hired by a Central Florida drug rehabilitation facility,” says Tracey, who worked at The Grove in Winter Springs as an art therapist for youth dealing  with addiction.

Tracey’s use of the creative arts – theater, writing, music, sculpture, and more – made a huge impact on the kids’ recovery as they found new ways to express themselves. That expression and being able to communicate with their parents is key, says Tracey.

“Kids want to explain the challenges they’re facing to their parents, but they find it hard to sit across from them and talk like that,” she says.

One way Tracey powerfully encouraged communication and parental involvement was to have the kids create large papier-mâché sculptures of the negative messages they received. Their parents were invited to an outdoor presentation, during which the kids explained their messages, said they were ready to start over, and then set the sculptures on fire.

For another project at The Grove, Tracey drew on the importance of Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day, by having the kids acknowledge and express their personal losses of family and friends due to drug abuse through letters, music, and acting.

There are success stories. But as Tracey, a mother of three grown children, will admit, raising kids is challenging, and addiction more than exacerbates that.

Her perspective only grew when Tracey and her family moved from Altamonte Springs to downtown Jerusalem in 2005.

“My kids were exposed to tens of thousands of teenagers, they saw drugs, and they were surrounded by bars downtown,” Tracey says. “There are tons of bars there, and they don’t card you. That’s where a lot of kids learn about drug use.”

Tracey also explains today’s drugs are far more dangerous than those of the past. The marijuana available now contains much higher levels of THC than decades ago and can cause psychotic episodes. Other drugs may be laced with fatal amounts of fentanyl, the painkiller at the center of the opioid crisis.

Tracey says it’s important to educate Jewish parents on these dangers. A lot of Jewish parents with out-of-control kids seek a solution by sending them to Jerusalem or Yeshivas. Often the kids are expelled from the Yeshivas that don’t alert the parents, who then have no idea what’s happening.

“So I wanted to open up an alternative venue, but first I needed to prove kids would go to a sober setting,” says Tracey.

She approached the owner of a comedy club in downtown Jerusalem, who agreed to open the club to Tracey for two hours every other Tuesday and promised not to serve alcohol during those sessions. Tracey lined up live entertainment from young, up-and-coming bands in the area, and the teens paid to get in, have soft drinks, and enjoy the music. The concept worked for several months, and Tracey brought the heads of various city youth departments in to see the success in person. 

From there, she had the idea to put together a Sobar (sober bar) band of teen musicians that would similarly perform during alcohol-free times at other local bars. Her program suffered a few stops-and-starts over the years, but the core concept of the band proved resilient.

Eventually, into 2020, the Sobar band was able to play alcohol-free sessions at a handful of bars, but with COVID restrictions limiting capacity to 10-15 people, the shows were more like rehearsals. Still, the band had put together a series of gigs, one of which was headlining on a main stage. It is clear Tracey had found a way to give teens a positive, musical, and substance-free outlet where they could be proud of what they’re creating.

“This way, their entire experience in a bar is not based on drinking alcohol,” says Tracey. “It’s about playing music, so the paradigm has shifted.”

There are now around nine kids in the Sobar band, which Tracey explains should really be three bands, but the kids “love each other and can’t separate.”

What Tracey appreciates most is that the teens “created a real community with each other,” despite being from very different backgrounds. And she is also meeting kids with addiction problems through the music program who she would never have reached otherwise. She recently counseled two drummers addicted to marijuana. One stopped using it completely within a month, and she continues to counsel the other one and   his parents. 

“It’s three-fold – the music gives them inspiration and a natural high to replace drugs and alcohol,” Tracey explains. “Next, they are meeting friends to form a sober community and learning they need the focus of being clean, not high. And third, kids who are entrenched in addiction get counseling from me.”

If you want to learn more about Tracey’s initiative, or to connect her with someone you know in need of help, you can contact Tracey through her website, JerusalemTeenCounseling.net. She is eager to help lift young men and women out of addiction anywhere in the world.

In Our Own Backyard

As much as Tracey Shipley wants to combat substance abuse in Jerusalem, she knows the fight here in Central Florida starts with addressing the stigma surrounding addiction, particularly in the Jewish community. 

Michal Osteen, a licensed mental-health therapist and mother of three in Orlando, knows the pain of addiction all too well. She lost her 30-year-old son Ari to an accidental overdose in November of 2020. Michal recently shared her family’s story through a Facebook Live talk hosted by SPARK Orlando and is working to continue educating families about addiction.

“We became so aware of how most families know someone who is dealing with some form of addiction –whether it was drugs, food, gambling, or a combination of many,” says Michal.

Ari’s struggle began in college after he sustained a back injury playing volleyball for the University of Florida. Ari was given a prescription for OxyContin to address his pain, but it was more than 10 years ago before the drug’s hyper-addictive qualities were commonly known. He became hooked on the drug but went to rehab and graduated college with honors. Last year, he was reinjured on the job as an EMT and told doctors not to give him painkillers.

“But they did because his pain was so severe,” says Michal, “and that started a downward spiral.”

In total, Ari went to rehab three different times, finding success at a Jewish rehab program in Los Angeles, called Beit T’Shuvah. After coming home to Orlando for a friend’s wedding in 2020, Ari ended up staying home for an extended period due to the pandemic. That meant the usually social Ari couldn’t attend face-to-face addiction meetings or be   with friends. 

“During COVID, I think he became extremely lonely, with no support system, being stuck at home, not having friends around, and he couldn’t be on the job he loved, helping others,” says Michal. “I think he felt like he couldn’t contribute to society, and it really brought him down.”

A commonality Michal has found in talking to other parents is that many kids who become addicted have anxiety, suffer from depression, or are extremely sensitive, in addition to any genetic predisposition to addiction they may have.

A few weeks before he passed away, Ari spoke to a rabbi from the Jewish rehab about coming back, but the program was full. Not surprisingly, the isolation and lack of support during the pandemic has been a huge factor in the relapse of many recovering addicts. 

“It was so important for Ari to get together with friends, explore nature, and play music. He was longing for it those last six months,” says Michal. “He would take his guitar down to Lake Eola and play for the homeless, listen to their stories. It’s easier to talk than to text. That was his message.”

Those weeks before Ari died, he was being drug-tested daily and was completely clean. On Sunday, November 1, however, he went out to find drugs to help him with his anxiety, and they were laced with six times the amount of fentanyl as OxyContin that would be prescribed.

“He did not mean to die, we know that,” says Michal. “He said to me, ‘I love you, mom. I’ll see you in the morning.’”

Ari passed away immediately after taking the drug, which was the only substance found in his system. Michal says the amount found in the dealer’s possession could have killed hundreds of victims. The dealer will likely be charged with murder and spend the rest of his life in prison. That is the danger of street drugs, says Michal. Almost anything bought on the street today is laced with fentanyl, even marijuana. 

“Ari was such an incredible human being,” she says. “He spent his free time visiting the elderly, bringing them challah, sitting and hearing their stories. He was such a giving person, a hugger. Ari took the world on his shoulders. He made himself available for younger kids to talk with him. He was very fearful of what was being sold in the street. His thing was – just don’t start. He would say, ‘It hijacks your brain.’”

As part of his advocacy, Ari spoke to youth groups, telling kids to never start and never take a pill given to you, because you don’t know what’s in it. Michal believes that is why it is so important to educate children on the dangers of drugs at a young age. For those unfamiliar with addiction, she recommends watching The Forgotten Epidemic, a documentary in which MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell explores the opioid crisis.

For parents, in particular, Michal says to look for signs of isolation in their children because they may be looking for ways to cope with anxiety, depression, or loneliness, especially now. Some of these signs include spending a lot of time in their room or on social media, not wanting to be with friends, spending too much time with friends only and not with family, and slurring speech or retreating to their room immediately after coming back from visiting friends.

“Don’t always believe teens,” Michael cautions. “Once they’re taking, they will lie through their teeth to protect that feeling in their brain. Talk to kids often, don’t always believe them, and get a test if you have an inkling. They will agree to be tested if they’re clean.”

Speaking out, educating, and supporting other families are some of the things Michal is doing to honor Ari’s memory. Participating in a Jewish grieving parents group has been very helpful for her, and she is working with Florida-based Project Opioid, as well as another local program to do more in the Jewish community.

That program, B’ri’ut, was the brainchild of Bart Neuman, a Congregation Ohev Shalom member and former Men’s Club president, who was looking to take on his next service project. Bart reached out to the Federation, Jewish Family Services, and a few other agencies to get community buy-in. After speaking with community leaders, it was clear that substance abuse was a big problem in the Jewish community, but the stigma kept people from talking about it or finding out where to get help. A committee was created to plan an approach to address substance abuse in the local Jewish community. As part of this, the committee secured commitments to participate from the rabbis, cantors, executive directors, and educators at every Jewish organization in the area including The Jewish Pavilion, The Holocaust Memorial Resource & Education Center, Jewish Academy of Orlando, The Roth and Rosen JCCs, Jewish Federation, Central Florida Hillel, Chabad, Congregation of Reform Judaism, Congregation Ohev Shalom, Temple Israel, Congregation Beth Am, and Southwest Orlando Jewish Congregation. The B’ri’ut program has also partnered with The Victoria’s Voice Foundation and the Osteen family. 

The first phase of the program is a half-day educational presentation to community partners on substance abuse disorders, the signs, and treatment options. A second presentation is for community leaders who may have direct contact with those dealing with substance abuse. That presentation will be a workshop that teaches the Motivational Interviewing technique for leading people to seek help with recovery. From there, B’ri’ut aims to establish support groups specifically for the Jewish community, which may often feel excluded from other programs that rely on religious teachings from different denominations.

Creating a resource/referral guide and a social-media program for college students and young adults are two other goals. Finally, B’ri’ut is committed to ensuring the local Jewish organizations are supplied, at no cost, with NARCAN, a medication that counteracts opioid overdoses and can be administered by non-medical individuals. 

Post training, anyone in need of help should turn to one of the Jewish organizations in the Orlando area for assistance.

“I commend all the temples for coming together and realizing this is a Jewish problem,” says Michal. “Our clergy need to be educated. We have to make it possible for our children to ask for help without shame and, more importantly, know that this is no joke. Kids are dying. They don’t want to die, and they’re dying. It can hit anybody. It’s like cancer. We used to never talk about cancer. It’s time to understand that this is the new killer.”